


Saotome Gakuen Shenanigans

by Mehtrainzz



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Ai is now Reiji's dog, Bad Aijima, Cockblocking, Eiichi is a sadist, Fluff, I can relate to the students tbh, It's sort of crack, M/M, Mutual Pinning, Sadly no romance for heavens except for two, Teacher AU, The pain of counselling, They're all way older in this au, Yamato is done, a bit of violence, but it's also pretty gay, implied sex, mentions of a small penis, more ships will be added, rating may change in the future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-08-01 23:05:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16293593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mehtrainzz/pseuds/Mehtrainzz
Summary: The boys are back at saotome gakuen! Not as students, but as Teachers!Note: The period arc is actually just the introduction!! The heavens boys will be briefly mentioned and will have some appearances, with the exception of Shion and Kira.  Shenanigans will be given their own names!!





	1. 1st period: Natsuki and Syo

It was a regular day at saotome gakuen, it's was peaceful, at most. Except for-

"OI NATSUKI! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Syo hollered, running as fast as he could.

"But you're so cute, Syo-Chan! Let me catch you!" Natsuki whined, chasing Syo with a net.

Laughter and chattering could be heard from the students as they saw their PE teacher being chased by their chemistry teacher with a net.

"Wahhh! Kurusu-sensei is really fast despite his height."

"But if kurusu-sensei isn't able to run fast, what's the use of him being a PE teacher then?"

"I bet shinomiya-sensei would catch him first though! Look at how long his legs are!"

"He'll catch up to kurusu-sensei in no time!"

However, it all came to an end the moment Syo attempted to flee into the main building, accidentally bumping into Ren. 

"Oh, Chibi-Chan what's the matter?" Ren teased, purposely blocking Syo by mirroring his movement whenever Syo attempted to escape.

At that moment, Syo burst out, "LET ME PASS REN! NATSUKI IS STILL TRYING TO CATCH ME WITH THAT NET!" 

"Sorry Chibi-Chan. But I'm with Shinomi on this." Ren chuckled, before calling Natsuki over.

"Yay~ I finally caught you Syo-Chan!" Natsuki spoke, putting the net over Syo's head.

"Curse you Ren." Syo spat, upset that Ren had betrayed him.

"I'm just helping Shinomi since he promised to give me some of his cookies. Well, I'll be going now, Hijirikawa promised me something. See ya later." Ren winked, as he walked off.

"WHY YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING SEX ED TEACHER!" Syo yelled, fuming in anger. However, that anger quickly dissipated the moment he saw Natsuki's joyful expression.

Yeah, uh... he may have developed a crush for his fellow colleague and best friend.  
Making sure that he was always free during Natsuki's practical lessons, just in case he blew up the science lab.

"Bye Ren-Kun! Ok Syo-Chan let's go back now." Natsuki smiled, snapping Syo out of his daze by removing the net from his head. He began walking towards the track and signalled for Syo to follow.

"Everyone! I managed to catch Syo-Chan!" Natsuki joyfully announced, putting his arm around Syo as the students all applauded for Natsuki.

"Ok everyone, since you guys have had your break while Natsuki was chasing me. 6 laps around the track. Now." Syo growled, looking at his watch and realising how much time was wasted.

Ignoring the sounds of protest coming from the students, he blew into his whistle, signalling the start of their laps. 

At the same time, he turned towards Natsuki and asked, "Natsuki, that net looks awfully familiar..." Recalling the time he nearly fell to his death.

"Oh! Sorry Syo-Chan... I must've made you remember some bad things huh. I can tell by the look on your face!" The look on his face? Syo stared at Natsuki, confused at what he has just said.

"Syo-Chan, you never noticed? Every time you remember something bad, you always have this sad look on your face." Natsuki pointed out, before pausing for a bit as he continued, "But Syo-Chan, what were you thinking about?"

Syo's eyes widened, feeling uncomfortable as he simply replied, "I don't wanna talk about it." 

Syo suddenly felt Natsuki embrace him, "It's ok if you don't want to talk about it Syo-Chan. But cheer up! I don't want Syo-Chan to look so sad.." Natsuki pouted. Causing Syo to feel guilty for making Natsuki worry about him.

"Well I'll tell you later ok? I promise." Syo spoke, holding out his pinkie finger. Natsuki nodded, holding Syo's finger with his as he sealed the promise.

"You know what happens when you break your promise right Syo-Chan?" Natsuki asked, looming over Syo with the net in his hand. 

Syo jumped, as he fumbled his words, "Y-yeah, of course I do..." Making a mental note to tell Natsuki about it later on, he definitely doesn't want to spend a day in that net.

The 2nd period bell chimed. "Oh! It's time for my lesson, see you later Syo-Chan!" Natsuki waved, grabbing his net, he brisk walked back into the main building.

Syo waved back, checking his timetable as he muttered to himself, "Those brats are lucky they have another PE period with me."


	2. 2nd period: Ren and Masato

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel that this is gonna be cringy but that's fine.

Ren knocked on the door to the home economics classroom, taming the unruly strands whilst waiting for the door to open.

"You do know no matter how much you try to fix your hair, it still looks like a lion's mane." A pleasant and familiar voice greeted him with surprise. It was the stoic man with a gift in culinary arts- head of the home economics department- Masato Hijirikawa. 

He smirked, "Well Masa, it wouldn’t hurt to at least acknowledge my efforts once in a while~" Ren purred, yet only to be ignored as Masato pushed past him to unlock the door to the classroom.

"Jinguji, how many times have I told you not to call me that when we're at work." A sigh escaped Masato’s lips, as he entered the room with Ren trailing behind him. 

"Aw but Masaaa~" Ren pouted, upset that the home economics teacher is currently pushing him away. He latched himself onto Masato, refusing to let go until the other listens to him.

The next moment, Ren was writhing on the floor in pain, applying pressure on his abdomen. "I can't believe you elbowed me Hijirikawa..." He groaned. Hoisting himself up against the kitchen counter.

Masato chuckled, before taking out two boxes of bento from his bag. "Well, to make it up to you, I made enough for the both of us.." 

Ren's attention to the pain was instantly diverted, remembering Masato mentioning something about a promise as he looked at the bento in Masato's hand. "And..?" He questioned.

"And I made sure to make yours extra spicy." Was it just him? Or did the pain just suddenly disappear. Ren scrambled to his feet as he reached out to grab his bento. 

But, before Ren was able to, Masato grabbed the nearest piece of paper, rolled it up and smacked Ren in the head with it. "Jinguji, please act your age. Sometimes I wonder why I bother to make meals for you. " Masato nagged, causing Ren to smile sheepishly. 

Masato sighed, walking towards a cabinet and retrieving a bottle of Tobasco from it. "At least your secret stash is still intact." Masato added, handing the bento, along with the bottle of Tobasco to Ren.

"Aw~ Masa still cares for me~" Ren cooed, pulling Masato closer towards him. He proceeded to briefly kiss Masato before opening the bento. 

Smirking as he saw Masato's flushed face, "C'mon Masa, let's eat! I have one hell of a story to tell you, it's about Chibi-Chan and Shinomi."

"Oh? What did they do this time?" Masato curiously asked. 

"They had a little chase today! And guess what? Shinomi even brought a net with him today!" Ren spoke, pouring out everything he saw to Masato. 

However, Ren paused the moment he heard Masato laugh, considering how rare it was for the usually calm Masato to burst out in laughter, made Ren recall the time when they were younger.

The Sex Ed teacher smiled fondly, before poking Masato’s cheek. “Jinguji! Don't poke me!” Masato half heartedly chided, still smiling widely.

“You should smile more often Masa~ You look cute that way.” Ren teased, before proceeding to pinch both of Masato’s cheeks. Masato, in retaliation, pinched Ren’s cheeks back, laughing at Ren’s shocked expression.

After the both of them had calmed down and let go of each other, Ren wrapped his arm around Masato’s waist, bringing the blue haired man closer to him. 

“Masa, you know, the students will find out about this soon.. We can't keep this as a secret forever.” Ren sighed, running his hand through Masato’s hair.

“I know.. but what will they think of us?” Masato softly spoke, burying himself in Ren’s chest. Causing Ren to frown, he knew that although Masato was well liked by the students, he still wasn't ready to tell them about their relationship yet.

“Hijirikawa sensei! Please cook for us! Kurosaki sensei refuses to cook anything other than meat!” A student spoke as she opened the classroom door, only to freeze the moment she saw the position Ren and Masato were in.

Both Masato and Ren’s eyes widened, not expecting that they'll get caught. Masato quickly pushed Ren away, before trying to cover up the situation, “Ah! What's the matter? Do you need me to speak to Kurosaki sensei for you?”

A scream was heard throughout the room.

“I KNEW IT! CONGRATULATIONS HIJIRIKAWA AND JINGUJI SENSEI!” She squealed, attracting the attention of the other students in the hall. 

Ren was stunned but yet entertained at the same time. He remained silent, curious to what would happen next. 

The student then proceeded to run off, leaving a flustered Masato behind, “O-oi! Jinguji! It's all your fault!” He fumbled, trying to cover his face in embarrassment.

“Well Masa, it’s your fault for not locking the door.” Ren calmly spoke, winking at Masato. Which caused Masato to feel even more embarrassed than ever as he scrambled to close and lock the door.

Masato leaned against the door, groaning in frustration and embarrassment after looking back at the series of events that just happened. 

Ren chuckled, gently patting Masato’s head, “It'll be fine Masa. Trust me.” He tenderly spoke, seeing that Masato was starting to calm down. 

Masato sighed, grabbing Ren’s bento and the Tobasco bottle from earlier and handed them to Ren. 

“You should go now, the second period is almost over and I have lessons to conduct. I'll text you later.” He said, unlocking the door.

“Alright see you later Masa~” Ren winked, opening the door as he walked towards his own classroom, ignoring the weird looks he got from the students in the hall.

The period bell chimed the moment Ren settled down in his classroom. But, Ren had forgotten one detail.

News of the two teachers had already spread to every student by the time second period was over.


	3. 3rd Period: Reiji and Ai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no I originally didn't plan for them to be gay but now they are.-.

Ai was in the middle of conducting his computer science lesson. Scanning his eyes over the students, he noticed that one of them seemed to be put off by something. Ignoring the student, he continued his lesson. 

That was until the student put up their hand and asked, “Mikaze sensei, why is my computer screen black?” 

Ai sighed, approaching the student, he took a look at the computer. “Have you attempted to move your mouse?” The student proceeded to follow Ai’s instructions, shaking the mouse, the screen lit up.

“You can't be that dumb, can you?” Ai retorted, annoyed that his time was wasted on such a simple thing. Sadly, this wasn't the first time today that this issue had happened. 

Ai decided to have a bit of fun, counted all the times the students had IT issues. Which usually could be fixed with the simple movement of the mouse or the press of a button. 

Total count for today: 25, considering that it was within only three periods of lesson, that's pretty impressive.

He proceeded to teach the students the basics of coding, it can't be that bad right? All you need is just basic arithmetic and you're good to go.

Sadly, that’s what the students apparently weren't able to do. “Who is your math teacher again?” Ai asked in an annoyed tone, having enough of the students constantly asking him for help with math.

“Kotobuki sensei is our math teacher.” A student replied. Ai pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in annoyance. “Of course it's Reiji, he's the only math teacher who could teach so badly.” He mumbled to himself.

“I'll speak to your kotobuki sensei later on to give all of you supplementary maths lessons.” Ai announced, as all the students groaned in protest. “Too bad, this wouldn't happen if you guys were stronger in maths.” Ai continued, making a mental note to do two things. 

One, tell Reiji about the necessary supplementary lessons. Two, walk in during said supplementary maths lesson and take over.

“But Kurusu sensei already made us run 6 laps today.” A student whined.

“Well then…” Ai smirked, before proceeding. “Kurusu-kun is my kouhai after all, I'd say he did a good job disciplining all of you. Reiji on the other hand..” Ai paused, realising that he had addressed Reiji by his first name.

The students remained silent, but visibly shocked by Ai’s slip. “Mikaze sensei! Are you going to end up being like Jinguji and Hijirikawa sensei?” One of them curiously asked. However, another student rebutted, “No way! Mikaze sensei doesn't even look like Kotobuki sensei’s type!” 

The noise level of the class has suddenly spiked, Ai noted, he also wasn't going to end up like Ren and Masato. Making another mental note to ask the couple how they came out to the students. Trying to keep a poker face, he knew he had to do something to maintain order in the class.

He decided to act like Camus for once. It'll be fun to try to act like him, Ai thought.

Grabbing the teacher’s pointer off his desk, he smacked it against the board. The sound, sudden but loud, resonated throughout the classroom, causing some students to jump in their seats. Ai then proceeded to glare at the remaining students that were brave enough to talk in front of him.

Speaking in a grave tone, he asked, “What is this about me and Kotobuki sensei?”

“Kotobuki sensei tends to talk about you, a lot.” A student daringly spoke up. “He talks very fondly of you Mikaze sensei.” A different student added. 

Ai folded his arms, wondering why Reiji has been constantly talking about him to his students. Sighing, Ai unfolded his arms, placed the Teacher’s pointer back onto his desk and continued his lesson.

He made a new mental note that day, to confront Kotobuki Reiji about this new piece of information he obtained when they meet in the staff room later. 

...

With his fist.

At the other end of the hallway, Reiji felt a chill run through his body, causing him to shudder. “Kotobuki sensei, are you feeling well?” A student asked, giving Reiji a concerned look. 

“I'm alright! Just had a bad feeling about something, maybe someone wants to beat me up.” He joked, completely unaware that the computer science teacher across the hallway was actually going to beat him up.

“Anyways! Let's continue with the lesson shall we?” Reiji grinned, grabbing a marker from his desk, he scribbled a few math questions on the board. 

“Ok now, I'll be calling up a few of you to try these questions.”

Suddenly, majority of the class refused to make eye contact with the Maths teacher, in hopes that they won't be called up. Reiji, of course, knew this trick too well.

Reiji sighed, glancing at the question, he casually added, “Y’know, AiAi is really smart, he could probably do these questions within less than five minutes.” Knowing that the students were unaware that AiAi was Reiji’s nickname for Ai.

A student suddenly raised their hand, “Kotobuki sensei, who's AiAi? Is that your dog?” Reiji snorted, the kid took the bait alright, but Ai as a dog? That sounds hilarious. 

“Well, if you answer my question here on the board, I'll answer your question on whether AiAi is a dog.” The student pondered for a while, before deciding to go up to the board and answer the question.

Soon, a few other students decided to join their friend to answer the questions on the board. Reiji’s plan was successful! Except for one thing, he had to tell them who's AiAi. 

Reiji was in a dilemma, he could easily pass off with AiAi being his dog. But if the students were to hear him call Ai that nickname, there would definitely be a misconception. 

Reiji decided to do what he felt was the best option. Stay silent and hope that the students forget to ask him who AiAi is.

“Good job on answering those questions.” Reiji applauded, glancing through the student’s workings to check if they're correct. “Kotobuki sensei, now you have to tell us who AiAi is!” The same student reminded. 

Shit.

Now he definitely has to answer them.

“Ah! AiAi is actually your Mikaze sensei. The one that you just so happened to call a dog.” Reiji jokingly added, “Maybe I'll tell AiAi later that he's my dog.” 

The chatter in the classroom suddenly stopped. “E-eh? Did I say something wrong?” Reiji asked, confused as to why the students are all suddenly staring at him in silence.

“Did you just say you'll tell Mikaze sensei that he's your dog?”

“No way, Mikaze sensei is so brutal with his words.”

“Wow, you really have guts Kotobuki sensei.”

Another pause of silence. Is AiAi really that scary to the students? 

“Oh! Kotobuki sensei! You should go tell Mikaze sensei now since we have a few minutes before the third period ends! Then you can update us when you return.” A student suggested, the class all agreeing to it.

Kotobuki Reiji has dug his own grave. 

Standing outside of the computer science classroom, he was actually afraid to enter the class. Not because he was afraid of interrupting Ai’s lesson, he was afraid that Ai would beat him up.

Mustering his courage, he barged into the classroom. “AiAi!” He cheerfully shouted, making an attempt to hug Ai. “Oi! Reiji! You're interrupting my lesson!” Ai scolded, pushing Reiji away.

“AiAi! Have I ever told you that you're a good boy?” Ai paused, his glare softened. “I am?” He muttered, wondering why Reiji had suddenly barged in to praise him.

“Yeah! You're a good boy because you're my dog!” Reiji innocently replied as he mentally prepared himself to run. 

Ai took a while to process what Reiji had said. Confused, he questioned, “I'm... your dog?” Reiji burst out in laughter, surprised at Ai’s worlds but at the same time, it was pretty hilarious. 

“You could be my dog.” Reiji proposed, curious to what would Ai would reply next. 

“......Alright.” 

“EHHHHHH?????” Reiji was shocked at Ai’s unexpected answer. Noticing that the students in Ai’s class were now staring at them, thanks to Reiji’s loud reaction.

“Being your dog would mean that you'll praise me more right?” Ai softly spoke to Reiji, at the same time glaring at the students. Clearly not wanting the students to stare at them. 

“I guess so?” At that point, Reiji realised that Ai probably felt neglected, since he didn't really have a childhood. “I could pat your head too if you'd like.” Reiji added, seeing Ai’s excited expression. 

Although the students probably weren't able to tell if Ai was ever excited, Reiji was able to. He's spent enough time with him to be able to tell anyways. 

“Great! See ya later AiAi!” Reiji chimed, just as the 3rd period bell had rang. Whilst Ai stared back as the students began to pack their stuff and leave.

“.....woof.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhh I had the dog idea because my doggo came in while I was writing


	4. 4th period: Otoya and Tokiya + Eiichi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesus Christ Eiichi calm down.

Today was one of the few days that Otoya’s free period clashed with his. Usually, they'd spend time together in the staff room since the others are busy teaching.

However, the literature teacher was mildly annoyed, partly because of the zero effort essays that the students had handed in, as well as the constant poking in his arm. 

“Otoya could you stop poking me?” Tokiya asked, trying his best not to sound too harsh as he took a glance at Otoya, hoping that the redhead could understand when to leave him alone.

“No.” Sighing, Tokiya placed his red pen and the current essay he was marking on his desk. He was well aware that Otoya was clearly upset, and he’ll probably won't stop disturbing him until the issue has been resolved.

“Otoya. What's wrong?” He softly coaxed, running his fingers through his red locks in an attempt to calm him down. Knowing how hyper Otoya could be at times, sometimes to the point even Tokiya had no idea how to handle him.

“..... I had a dream last night.” 

“And…?”

“It was about my parents.”

“Oh.”

Otoya whimpered, tears welling up in his eyes as he was overwhelmed with sadness at the thought of his parents. 

Tokiya’s heart ached at the sight of Otoya crying. He gently pulled Otoya into his arms. Rubbing Otoya’s back, he heard Otoya let out a sob, “Otoya… it’s alright. Let it all out.” He whispered, taking a box of tissues from Ren’s desk, it’s not like he uses it anyway.

“Do you need to see Shion?” 

“......no. I don't wanna.”

“What did you do yesterday?”

“Eiichi invited me to visit a sunflower exhibit.”

“And did you go?”

“........yes.”

Tokiya knew that the Religious Studies teacher was insensitive in a few ways- correction: multiple ways, but deep inside he's a good man. He was one to give the students mental scars, nonetheless they still got good grades. Visibly angered, he grabbed a different coloured pen and a post-it, scribbled on “Fuck You” on the post-it and pasted it on Eiichi’s desk. 

“Do you wanna add something?” He asked, handing Otoya a pen and lead him towards Eiichi’s desk. Otoya’s eyes were still red from crying. However, the moment he saw the post-it on the table, he giggled.

“Tokiya! Who knew that you'd do this kind of thing!” the red head chuckled, placing the tissue box on Eiichi’s desk, “- and now we’re framing Ren for this.” Otoya then added, taking a piece from the tissue box and blowing into it.

“Are you feeling better now?” Tokiya asked, smiling as he ruffled Otoya’s hair. However, the man remained silent at the question, the expression suddenly changing to a solemn one. Concerned, Tokiya started having doubts that the post-it wasn't enough.

“Tokiya.”

“Hm?”

“Can you promise me something?”

“Yes?”

“Promise me that you'll never leave my side.”

“Of course.” Otoya grinned, before tackling Tokiya in a hug, making Tokiya lose his balance and slip. They were on the floor, with Otoya sitting on top of Tokiya.

“Oi! Otoya! You're really heavy!” Tokiya shouted, struggling to escape under Otoya’s weight. However, Otoya had Tokiya’s arms held above his head, rendering his protests ineffective. 

“Tokiya.”

“Yes Otoya?”

“I wanna do it.” Otoya’s lips ghosted over the shell of his lover’s ear, the soft whisper sending a chill down his spine. 

“ARE YOU CRAZY OTOYA? OF ALL PLACES Y-YOU WANT TO DO IT HERE?!”

Who knew his happy-go-lucky partner would be so vulnerable to his desires, at this time of the day?

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Awwwww. You're no fun Toki.” Otoya pouted, and resumed his sitting position, relieving Tokiya from the shackles of his grip. 

“Too bad. Also, how much time exactly did you spend with Ren?”

“I ate breakfast with him this morning.”

“Long enough.”

Otoya let out a laugh before getting off tokiya. However, the sudden open of the staff room door caused the both of them to freeze in place.

Shit. It's Eiichi.

The both of them quickly hid under Tokiya’s desk, shifting his chair to the side in order to see Eiichi’s reaction. At this point, Otoya was covering his mouth to stifle his laughter while Tokiya smirked. 

“Wait till he sees that note.” Tokiya whispered, causing Otoya to laugh even harder. Hitting Tokiya’s shoulder, “Don't make me laugh out loud.” He said, still giggling.

“WHO PUT THIS NOTE ON MY DESK.” Eiichi boomed, causing both Otoya and Tokiya to jump. 

“Is he..?”

“He's talking to himself.”

“Does he always do that?”

“Yep.”

Tokiya quickly shushed Otoya as he saw Eiichi pick up the post-it and read it.

……..

“I LOVE IT.” 

That was not a reaction Tokiya had expected. 

“ARE YOU-” Otoya quickly covered Tokiya’s mouth, reminding him that they were supposed to be hiding.

“What a sadist.” 

“Well that's just the way he is.”

“Sadly so.”

“I wonder what he'll do next? I did place Ren’s tissue box on the table.”

“IS THIS JINGUJI’S TISSUE BOX?”

Otoya snorted, muffling his laughter in Tokiya’s shoulder.

“I don't think Ren uses those for his nose.” Tokiya whispered, inviting a greater reaction from Otoya.

“JINGUJI’S BOX EH? I SHOULD THANK HIM FOR THIS ENCOURAGING NOTE.” The teacher seemed pleased with what he had found, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Toki, I'm dyingg~~” Otoya wheezed, his sides hurting from laughing too much.

Tokiya chuckled and planted a quick kiss upon Otoya’s lips in an attempt to calm him down. 

“Hehe, what do you think he'll do next?”

“Probably thank Ren.”

“Pfft, he's going to be so confused.”

“I think Eiichi is leaving now.”

“I hope he is.”

Tokiya crawled out from under the table, peeking to see if Eiichi had left yet. Just as he thought, he did leave. 

“He's gone Otoya, you can come out now.” Tokiya spoke, watching Otoya crawl out of his table. 

“What if one day I hid under someone’s table and scare them?” Otoya questioned, excited to try out the new idea he had just thought of.

“Don't do it to Syo and it'll be alright.”

“Okie!” Otoya chimed, before realising something. 

“Did Eiichi really leave? I didn't hear the door close.” He asked, tilting his head in confusion. Tokiya smiled at Otoya’s head tilt, reminding him partially of a puppy. 

Ruffling Otoya’s hair again, he answered, “He tends to enter loudly but leave silently.” 

Suddenly, the staffroom door flipped open as an angry Masato stormed in. “Something like that?” Otoya softly asked, terrified at Masato’s sudden mood.

“Nope. This one is entirely different.” Tokiya whispered, feeling threatened by Masato’s outburst. 

“Hijirikawa, did something happen?” 

“That sadistic asshole spirited my boyfriend away.”

“Oh? What did Eiichi tell Ren?”

“He told Ren thanks for the note and even grinned at him.”

“Oh no.”

Tokiya shushed Otoya, “Don't tell him that I was the one who put the post-it there!” Before turning towards Masato, “So…. what exactly happened?”

“He thanked Ren for some note and asked him out for dinner as a token of appreciation.”

“And what did Ren reply?”

“OH. HIM. HE AGREED TO IT SINCE ITS FREE FOOD.” Masato fumed, pissed off that Ren actually agreed to the dinner.

“Do you need to see Shion?”

“Actually, yes I think I need to see Shion.”

“Alright then. Have a good day ahead Hijirikawa.”

“Psh, yeah sure.” 

Masato slammed the door shut, as Otoya butted in, “Man, I really pity that door. I wonder how Masato and Ren are going to settle this dispute.”

The 4th period bell rang, “Well, it's our lunch now, would you like to join me for lunch Otoya?” Otoya’s face lit up, dashing over to his desk, he rummaged through his bag for his bento. 

Tokiya stared fondly at the red head, but at the same time concerned after recalling the very reason to why this whole incident happened, swearing to himself to stay with Otoya for as long as he was alive.

“Ok Tokiya! I got it let's go!” The redhead chirped, proudly raising his bento box. “At least you know Kurosaki san well enough to bring your own bento.” Tokiya replied, grabbing his own bento box as he made his way towards the door, with Otoya trailing behind him.

“Hehe of course I do! The only thing Kurosaki makes is just meat after all! It's kinda sad for the students y’know…” Tokiya wasn't listening to the other’s blabbering, but he was glad that Otoya’s mood was much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhhh this ones pretty gay too


	5. 5th period: Ranmaru and Camus + Nagi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gdi friendo you toned up the gay levels but regardless you're still my good friendo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually written by my good friendo because I'm really busy so that explains the sudden writing style change. But I can't credit her until she makes an AO3 account;-;

It was lunch hour, but the cafeteria was nowhere near packed. A good portion of students lined up for the cafeteria meal, and they all returned with the usual meat dishes and the ‘complimentary’ banana. Some of them brought their own food from home. It was miles better than what the school lunch lady could provide in terms of nutritional balance.

Ranmaru Kurosaki- the lunch ‘lady’ and the school nurse went about his usual duties of serving his different varieties of meat dishes. Kebab’s on the menu today, topped with some sprinkles of onion and his trademark gravy. Most students appreciated the food. Some however, have a bone to pick with the lunch ‘lady’ himself.

“Kurosaki-sensei. I’m vegetarian.” A student stated.

Ranmaru stared in disbelief, someone who isn’t able to eat meat? This has to be a hoax.

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“No. I really am, I swear.” He clarified, looking at the steaming dish in front of him.

Tsk. There’s only one way around that. Ranmaru took the tray from his hand and gave him a new one. He headed to the refrigerator and got out a big tray of egg salad, which was offered by the home economics teacher Masato Hijirikawa earlier in the morning. It seems like the students had poured their hearts out to him regarding the cafeteria food, which eventually Masato decided talk some sense into Ranmaru.

He cleared out a space next to the kebabs on the bain marie (the buffet station that holds food), gave the young man a large serving of the salad and sent him on his way. Not forgetting the banana, of course. The salad proved to be a great hit, as well as the kebab. It was honestly quite refreshing to see lesser leftovers compared to yesterday’s beef stir fry.

“That’s a nice change of pace for today’s lunch session. Well done,” Camus slow clapped, as if he were a Bond villain emerging from the shadows. “Although, I would consider these bananas quite plain for my taste. Wouldn’t you agree, peasant?”

Camus grabbed a few more and leaned against the kitchen island. He stood centimetres away from Ranmaru, peeling the fruit in hand. “Is that all you can say?” Ranmaru could never stand that pompous prick, his mere presence is irritating enough, let alone his words.

His words were met with an unentertained look, as Camus produced some condensed milk from the fridge. “I’m surprised you kept my goods intact,” he examined the tube, then drizzled a rich portion of it onto the fruit. The sticky, sugary substance flowed downwards the core, the clash of the milky colours and the yellow created an unpleasant image.

“I don’t see a reason in why I should utilise it in the first place. Do you assume I would pay attention to those stashed at the back of the fridge?” Ranmaru returned, clearly displeased. The way Camus treated those heavenly produce was criminal.

Ignorance is bliss. Ranmaru decided to focus on his work to take his mind off things. The documents needed for the teacher’s meeting in three hours is far from complete. He will not allow himself to be taken lightly, especially by Camus.

In the midst of his work, another un-welcomed guest entered the room. Nagi Mikado- a geography teacher known for his straight forwardness and rather impulsive conduct. He might appear to be small, but he certainly wasn’t vulnerable.

“Anything acceptable on the menu today, lunch lady?” Nagi proceeded to open every pot on the stove, taking a whiff of the contents. “Ooh~ kebab!”

There he goes again. Ranmaru watched as he helped himself to a big portion. “What?” Noticing his gaze, Mikado snapped. He had fixed for himself a large portion of the dish, which was honestly a blessing. At least he’s still an appreciative customer, and that’s more than what Ranmaru could ask for.

***

The teacher’s meeting wrapped up without much fuss. Ranmaru and Camus, on the other hand were still rather displeased with some matters, and decided to settle the score once and for all. Alone in the meeting room, they sat across each other arms crossed, glaring daggers.

“I really don’t get why you would object to something as trivial as food stalls. It’s the students that came up with the idea, not me!”

“Is that so? The school festival should focus on creating memories instead of binge eating. Two thirds of the students decided to run food stalls and maid cafes. There should be a better balance between the two aspects of food and fun.” Camus argued.

This is ridiculous. That pompous bastard is just unhappy that they decided to remove the theatre performance for this year’s event. It was planned to be a Jane Austen adaptation, which Camus was assigned the role of director. Unfortunately, the drama club had suddenly decided that they would go for something special to commemorate their club’s 5th anniversary.

It was revealed to be an interactive experience where the participating students will be able to play a part in the rather traditional Japanese set-up. Who would want to reject such a splendid idea? Even Ranmaru himself had to admit it was rather creative.

“You’re just looking for things to pick on, that’s rather unprofessional of you, Baron.” Ranmaru scoffed.

“That’s not all, Kurosaki. Considering your inability to perform your job well as the lunch lady, I would suggest that you leave the duty to Hijirikawa.” The history teacher stood up with, his gaze still locked onto Ranmaru. “He caters to the student’s needs and that’s a work ethic you do not possess.”

Ranmaru could only clench his fists. There’s no point in dismissing that fact when the results of his performance could clearly reflect it. As much as he hated to admit it, Camus had a point.

“……” Ranmaru remained in his seat, a look of contemplation upon his face. He’s not at all an unreasonable. He should at least act on his duty as a member of the school faculty.

Considering their relationship as colleagues, Camus felt that he should at least give him an advice or two. “Listen, Kurosaki. I believe you do possess the capability to do better. Just be a bit more conscious of others.”

Ranmaru let out a laugh, “That’s pretty unexpected from an asshole like you, Camus.”

“Oh?” Camus was about to leave when he decided to confront Ranmaru on his comment. With one finger, he tipped his chin up, surprising Ranmaru at the sudden gesture.

“-What the hell are you do-“Ranmaru couldn’t fathom why the man did that. He looked like he had something to say.

Speaking of coincidences, Ren had already made his way to the meeting room, and had opened the door without even knocking.

“It should be here- Oh.”

The scene before him was a rather interesting one that reminded the sex ed teacher of his own shenanigans with his beloved Masato. He could sense some tension brewing between them, perhaps a mix between frustration and anger.

“Ren, you-“

“Ah, don’t mind me.” Ren continued looking under the desks while the pair watched. There were too many unanswered questions with the situation at hand. Both of them were frankly quite taken aback, especially with Ren’s sudden intrusion.

Seemingly satisfied with his search after a while, Ren headed to the both of them with a small square packet in hand. He grabbed Ranmaru’s hand and placed the packet in his palm. “I was going to keep this for Masa since it’s his favourite, but you and Baron can have it,” flashing a sly grin, Ren commented, and exited the room afterwards.

They were alone in the room once more. Ranmaru looked at the item in his hand. A condom. Ultra-thin. On top of that, strawberry flavoured.

Ranmaru could only fluster at the thought of his actions. “WHAT THE HELL IS REN THINKING?!” He couldn’t believe how Ren had come to that conclusion. Then again, with him being the sex ed teacher, it’s expectant of him to possess such interests and quirks.

“Kurosaki. Give it.” Camus snatched it and tucked it away in his suit pocket.

“Was it because it’s strawberry flavoured?”

Camus shot him a sharp glare. “Mind your own business, peasant.”


	6. 6th period: Yamato, Natsuki and Cecil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where the ratings change to explicit. I also on a tired high while writing this

The science department, which sadly only consisted of three people, were supposed to meet up after school hours. 

“Natsuki is late again.” Yamato growled, pissed off that he had to be held back just to discuss about the upcoming exams with the rest of the science department.

“Well, Natsuki does seem really busy lately.” Cecil hummed, grabbing Eiichi’s chair, which happened to be nearby, sat down on it. Casually taking a tissue from the desk as he blew into it.

“Huh that's weird, why is Ren’s tissue box on Eiichi’s table?” Cecil asked out loud, confused as he took the tissue box and placed it back on Ren’s desk.

“You didn't hear about what happened this afternoon?” Yamato rebutted, equally as confused as to how Cecil wasn't aware of what happened.

“Did you hear about it?” Cecil replied.

“Did you just answer my question with another question?” 

“No, did you just answer my question with another question?” 

Cecil smirked as Yamato groaned, knowing that with the biology teacher, it's gonna be an endless loop.

“Where's Natsuki anyways?” Yamato impatiently checked his wristwatch, slightly desperate to return home to sleep. 

“Hold on.” Cecil answered, grabbing the cardigan that Natsuki had left in the staff room and sniffed it. 

“Why the hell are you sniffing his jacket?”

“Shut up, I clearly said hold on, and this is a cardigan bitch.” Cecil hissed, before going back to sniffing Natsuki’s cardigan.

Yamato was appalled, since when did Cecil Aijima say such vulgar words?

“Is bitch not another word for Friend?” Cecil curiously asked the physics teacher. It was if he was able to read Yamato’s mind.

“Um. Yes it is, and I feel that you should go tell that to your bestest Friend.” Yamato snickered, taking advantage of Cecil’s innocence.

“Ok! I'll go tell Shion that later!” Cecil chimed, seemingly excited to call his best friend a bitch. Placing the cardigan back in its original place, Cecil began to sniff the air.

“Aijima, are you high?” 

“No I’m not high, I’m sniffing out Natsuki.”

“What do you mean sniffing out-”

“He’s with Syo….”

“Obviously he is-“

“And they’re having sex.”

…

“WHAAAA-?”

Yamato stares at Cecil in absolute disgust. 

“Whatever you just told me was a bit too excessive, don’t you think so?” 

“No, sex is absolutely necessary for the human population.” 

“I understand you’re a biology teacher but…. No Aijima, just no.”

“But it’s a fact.”

“No. Bad Aijima. Bad.” 

Cecil smirked, “Òwó” he spoke, as Yamato stared at him, judging that incomprehensible noise that Cecil just made.

Sighing, Yamato continued, “So where is that midget and Natsuki anyways?”

“Oh they’re in the infirmary.”

“Great. I’ll head over there right now.”

“But won’t that be considered as cockblocking?”

“Well it’s either I cockblock or tolerate your… unusual habits. And cockblocking sounds like a much better option.” 

Yamato promptly opened the door as he walked swiftly out of the lab. The thought of being able to go home after the meeting was the only thing that kept him going.

However, Cecil, who wanted in on the action, ended up following Yamato out of the lab, tailing behind him.

“Can you not follow me?”

“No :3.” 

“There you go with those incomprehensible noises again. Where did you learn them from anyways?”

“The internet.”

“Of fucking course you did.”

Yamato halted, standing in front of the infirmary door, he grabbed the door knob, but however hesitated. “Uhh… Aijima, would you like to do the honors?”

Cecil excitedly shoved Yamato aside, “Of course! I’ve always wanted to cockblock someone!” He beamed, as Yamato massaged his temple, wondering how Camus was able to stand him. 

Cecil slammed open the door to the infirmary, as he hollered, “I SNIFFED THAT YOU GUYS WERE HAVING SEX!” Causing Syo to scream in horror, (suddenly going into cardiac arrest) “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

“We were supposed to have a science department meeting half an hour ago.” Yamato butted in, glancing over at a half naked Natsuki.

“Ah! I forgot about that. Sorry Yamato-Kun.” Natsuki apologised, slipping his shirt over his head. 

“Why didn’t you apologise to me?” Cecil asked, tilting his head.

Natsuki pauses for a moment, before taking his glasses off. “Because you cockblocked me you lil shit.” He glared, causing Cecil to jump and Yamato to stare on in amazement. 

“Oi! Satsuki! You weren’t supposed to reveal yourself!” Syo squeaked, panicking at the sudden turn of events. However, Satsuki ignored him, walking over to Yamato as he extended out his hand. “Satsuki Shinomiya, nice to meet you, I heard you managed to land a punch on midget here.” 

Yamato grinned, shaking Satsuki’s hand, “Indeed I have, is anything the matter?”

“Not really. But I will return that punch if you upset Natsuki.” 

“Got it.”

“Pleasure doing business with you.” Satsuki replied, sliding his glasses back on, and allowed Natsuki to return back. 

Dazed, Natsuki blinked his eyes several times, attempting to recall what had happened whilst the other three stared at him.

“Ah the meeting! We should go now.” Natsuki chirped, clapping his hands together. Looking over at Syo, “Syo-chan! I’ll see you back home ok?” 

“..... ok.” Syo grumbled, pushing himself off the infirmary bed.

…

“I didn’t know Syo had a micropenis.” 

“Shut up Aijima.”

“It’s cute though! No?”

“Shinomiya. You’ve got issues.”

Yamato was very done at that point, slamming the infirmary door shut. Hastily proceeding to the meeting room with Cecil and Natsuki in tow.

~time skip~

Yamato wanted to perish. Not only had he wasted his time cockblocking his colleagues, but also wasted his mental strength on trying to keep the other two on track.

“I wasn’t expecting Syo to have such a tiny-“

“Aijima, can you PLEASE tell us what you plan to set.”

“It’s really cute isn’t it!” 

“Shinomiya please don’t prompt him on this.”

“It looks like a cocktail sausage.”

Yamato groaned, wanting to just pass out on the spot. Standing up, he began to arrange his papers. “Since we’re getting nowhere with this. Fuck this shit, I’m going home.”

“Nice! Let’s go home together Natsuki!”

“Ok Cecil!”

Yamato swears, those two will be the death of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Do see random snippets of this au on my tumblr, utapri-randomness!!  
> This fic is edited by one of my good friends!!


End file.
